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Important Jewish Questions

Q: What is a Jewish ménage-a-trois

A: Two headaches and an erection.

Q: Why did Adam and Eve have a perfect marriage?

A: He didn’t have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn’t have to hear about the way his mother cooked .
Q: What business is a yenta in?

A: Yours.
Q: How do Jewish wives get their children ready for supper?

A: They put them in the car.
Q: What is the technical term for a divorced Jewish woman?

A: Plaintiff
Q: What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long?

A: Nothing at all.
Q: Define “genius”

A: An average student with a Jewish mother.
Q: If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?

A: A fur coat
Q: What do you call the nipple on a Jewish wife’s breast?

A: The tip of the iceberg
Q: What mechanical device causes the most arousal in a Jewish woman?

A: A Mercedes 550 SL convertible

 

Jewish proverb: “A Jewish wife will forgive and forget, but she’ll never forget what she forgave.”

 

One of life’s mysteries – how a 2 lb. box of chocolates can make a Jewish woman gain 5 lbs.
Another of life’s mysteries is when a Jewish woman hangs something in her wardrobe for a while and it shrinks two sizes!
The trouble with some Jewish women is that they get all excited about nothing; then they marry him.
A Bar Mitzvah is defined as the day when a Jewish boy comes to realize that he is more likely to own a professional sports team than he is to play for one.

About edrobin

I am a retired IBMer, also an alumni of Bell Telephone Laboratories. I ran a Management Consulting Practice at KPMG Peat Marwick. I founded a non-profit Alliance America Ltd, originally dedicated to homeland security prersently involved in Sustainable Energy. I am a the Chairman of Sustainability Analytics Corporation. I have a BS and MS in Electrical Engineering and founded the first Computer Science undergraduate degree program in the US at Florida Institute of Technology. I am married, have six children and eleven grandchildren. Interesting in gardening, stamp collecting, cross country skiing and watercolor painting and of course Sustainability.

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